The Atheist Experience

OK, so this summer Kristen and I worked out at a camp in Leakey, Texas called Laity Lodge Youth Camp. I was the media director and had access to computers. So, during some of my down time I came across (via youtube) this Austin Public Access show called "The Atheist Experience." I started watching some episodes and felt compelled, for whatever reason, to email the host after watching this episode and others like it. The host of The Atheist Experience, Jeff Dee, was kind enough to email chat with me a bit and, due to the urging of some curious friends, I decided to go ahead and post our conversation.

I was originally responding to a comment made by Jeff where he said that Christians rarely believe what they do because of objective evidence. Or, if they do, they're only using this "evidence" to justify what they already believe. So, I wrote to him. What follows is our conversation. My writing will be in blue and Jeff's will be in red. Here goes.........



Greetings Jeff!

Well, my name is Barrett and I am a Christian who really enjoys your guys' show. It's really challenged a lot about what I believe and caused even deeper introspection when I thought it wasn't possible. I'm telling you, if there's someone out there who has tried harder not to believe than me I would be amazed. I grew up in a Christian home and really got burned by my church. I moved to Austin thinking I would never return to church or religion. I mean, I didn't believe at all. Total atheist. Then I randomly went to the Dominican Republic and was mortified by all the poverty and sickness. Then one night, I heard a voice like my conscience but more telling me "Barrett, there's something more to life than you or your intellect." But then there was this dude who came to speak at our school (UT) named Cliff Knechtle. He wasn't particularly amazing, but he started talking about moral law (and the need for a moral law giver) and the cosmos and that same voice inside of me said "This is truth." And ever since then that independent voice has lead me and it's what I believe to be the Holy Spirit.

Honestly, I'm not scared about death and I'm not trying to fit into a community which are some of the reasons Christians are accused of believing. So yeah, I heard what I believe to be the voice of God and I had a supernatural experience I guess. But my conversion was a little different because I was convinced by someone's argument. But even that wasn't enough. I still search everyday for reasons not to believe, but somehow I am always more convinced as a result. And trust me, it's not because it's what I "want" to believe.

Again, your guys' show is awesome.

-Barrett

Thanks for writing.

No offense, but I think this quote says something relevant about your email:

"If you talk to God, you are praying. If God talks to you, you have schizophrenia."
- Thomas Szasz

I've heard Knechtle speak at UT. In my opinion, the only reason atheists don't rip his arguments to shreds when he's doing one of his open-air events on the campus mall is that *he controls the microphone*. If you'd care to share one of his arguments, I can demonstrate how poor it is.

-Jeff Dee

Nah man, I'm not offended.

But I think you should also keep something in mind: Just because someone can win an argument against another person doesn't mean you're right. If that were the case God would exist and, at the same time, not exist because I've seen (and taken part in) debates that went both ways. So, I wasn't won over to Jesus because Cliff Knechtle killed every single person's argument because surely that doesn't happen. But I heard something convincing and I researched more about it.

For example, someone came to Cliff saying that there was no written evidence of Jesus except for the Bible. Therefore, He probably didn't exist. Cliff then demonstrated that this was false. In fact, none of the four gospels were written down until 25 years after the events they describe. Until then, the events were spread through word of mouth. After all, Jesus told his disciples to go and tell everyone what they had seen. He didn't say, "Hey everyone, go in your houses and write all this stuff down." Anyway, Cliff demonstrated that there was a wealth of historical references to Jesus beside the Bible. So, this led me to a personal search. Here are just some of the secular, Jewish, and Christian historical references to Jesus, His followers, and the crucifixion:

Many early antagonistic secular writers such as Cornelius Tacitus, Lucian, Suetonius, and Phlegon mention Jesus and His movement with disdain. What do they have to gain by doing this?

Also, the early Babylonian Talmud and the historian Josephus mention Jesus and several Biblical events. These are historical references which are unfriendly.

Next are Christian sources like pre-New Testament creedal confessions by early Christians who had nothing to gain and everything to lose by making claims that Jesus existed and did what He did. And obviously New Testament writers claim the historical Jesus. Then, there are post-Apostolic writers like Clement, Ignatius, Quadratus, Barnabas, Aristides, Justin the Martry, and Hegesippus. These people followed the Apostles closely and recorded much of their teachings.

This is what I'm getting at: Historical references of Jesus of Nazareth are not JUST in the Bible and they are not made ONLY by Christians. The overwhelming unbiased evidence points to the fact that Jesus was a dude who live in the first century A.D and that He walked, talked, ate, and crapped. He might have been right, wrong, or crazy...but He existed.

Hey, thanks for writing me back, dude!

-Barrett


Comments inserted below.

Nah man, I'm not offended.

But I think you should also keep something in mind: Just because someone can win an argument against another person doesn't mean you're right. If that were the case God would exist and, at the same time, not exist because I've seen (and taken part in) debates that went both ways. So, I wasn't won over to Jesus because Cliff Knechtle killed every single person's argument because surely that doesn't happen. But I heard something convincing and I researched more about it.

Fair enough. This is why we have the principle of Burden of Proof. Those who posit the existence of a thing bear the responsibility for providing evidence to establish the truth of their claim. So in the case of claims of an historical (and supernatural) Jesus, the burden of proof falls on those who claim that a supernatural Jesus actually existed.

For example, someone came to Cliff saying that there was no written evidence of Jesus except for the Bible. Therefore, He probably didn't exist. Cliff then demonstrated that this was false. In fact, none of the four gospels were written down until 25 years after the events they describe. Until then, the events were spread through word of mouth. After all, Jesus told his disciples to go and tell everyone what they had seen. He didn't say, "Hey everyone, go in your houses and write all this stuff down." Anyway, Cliff demonstrated that there was a wealth of historical references to Jesus beside the Bible. So, this led me to a personal search. Here are just some of the secular, Jewish, and Christian historical references to Jesus, His followers, and the crucifixion:

Many early antagonistic secular writers such as Cornelius Tacitus, Lucian, Suetonius, and Phlegon mention Jesus and His movement with disdain. What do they have to gain by doing this?

Their motives, while interesting fodder for speculation, are not terribly relevant. The question is, do their writings really support the existence of a supernatural Jesus? I think the anser is a resounding NO:

Cornellius Tacitus claims no firsthand knowledge of Jesus' existence, but is merely repeating the beliefs of Christians. He also describes Christians and Christianity as, "hated for their crimes", "abominable superstition", "the great reservoir and collecting ground for every kind of depravity and filth", convicted, "not so much on the charge of arson, but of hatred of the entire human race". Are the Christians who ask us to take Tacitus as evidence of an historical (much less supernatural) Jesus also suggesting that we should accept his description of Christianity itself? He also claims that Nero persecuted Christians, but there is no other historical evidence for this (the term "Christian" was not in use in the first century, and Nero reigned around 60 AD). Nero did persecute Jews, and so it appears that Tacitus is either doctoring history or repeating hearsay without checking his facts. There is also evidence of later 4th century tampering - the passage is never quoted by any of Tacitus' contemporaries.

Lucian was a satirist, and not an historian, merely repeating what Christians believed in the 2nd century. This is not evidence of the historicity of Jesus, nor of his supposed magical powers.

Suetonius does not mention Jesus by name. "Chrestus" does not mean "Christ"; Chrestus was a common name meaning "good", and appears many times in Latin inscriptions having nothing to do with Christianity. Note that even if Seutonius meant Jesus when he wrote Chrestus, this would only establish the existence of Christianity in Rome around 112 AD - *not* the existence of an historical Jesus, and certainly not that he performed any actual miracles. On the other hand, Suetonis explicitly reported that Caesar Augustus bodily rose to heaven when he died. When you cite Suetonius' writings as proof of a real supernatural Jesus, are you suggesting that we should believe in Caesar Augustus' ascension as well?

Philegon 's text , along with the Talmud reference you mention below, is a critique of Christianity, attempting to refute it. At most, it establishes that Christianity already annoyed people as far back as the 1st century - a point that is not disputed, but is much more clearly illustrated by Tacitus. It does not establish the existence of an historical (much less supernatural) Jesus.

Also, the early Babylonian Talmud and the historian Josephus mention Jesus and several Biblical events. These are historical references which are unfriendly.

Flavius Josephus' paragraph mentioning Jesus does not appear in quotes from or copies of Josephus' writings until the beginning of the 4th century. For example, it is absent from Origen's 2nd century writings, even though Origen quotes Josephus extensively in defense of Christianity. The first person known to have quoted the Jesus paragraph was Bishop Eusebius, who is on record stating that it is permissible for Christians to tell lies so long as it furthers the kingdom of God. Many scholars believe that Bishop Eusebius himself was the forger. Most scholars, including most fundamentalist scholars, admit that at least some parts of this paragraph cannot be authentic.

Next are Christian sources like pre-New Testament creedal confessions by early Christians who had nothing to gain and everything to lose by making claims that Jesus existed and did what He did.

Such sources would only establish that believers in a supernatural Jesus existed before the New Testament was written, not that Jesus had actually existed, and certainly not that Jesus had any miraculous powers.

And obviously New Testament writers claim the historical Jesus.

By your own admission, the books of the Gospel were not written down until 25 years after the events they claim to depict. That alone would be sufficient to raise valid questions about their hstorical accuracy. However, biblical schholars are in wide agreement that Mark, the first Gospel to be written, was written in the late 60s or very early in the 70s CE. That would mean that it was written closer to 35 years after the crucifiction. You may ask how big a difference 10 years makes. Well, considering that the average life expectancy in Biblical times was significantly shorter than today, it could make a LOT of difference. The original Apostles would be that much more likely to have already died. You ARE aware that biblical scholars are in wide agreement that the Gospels were *not* written by the disciples after whom they are named, and therefor NOT eyewitnesses, aren't you? It also goes to show that your sources are not in agreement with the concensus of biblical scholars, which raises valid questions about the motives of your sources. Why bother fudging the dates by 10 years, if (supposedly) the actual evidence supports their claims?

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/When_were_the_gospels_written

Then, there are post-Apostolic writers like Clement, Ignatius, Quadratus, Barnabas, Aristides, Justin the Martry, and Hegesippus. These people followed the Apostles closely and recorded much of their teachings.

The earliest of the figures you mention, St. Justin Martyr, wasn't born until 100 CE. This makes it pretty much impossible for him to have 'followed the Apostles closely' other than by reading the Gospels attributed to them. As a result, nothing these post-Apostolic wrote say lends any weight to the historical existence of a supernatural Jesus.

This is what I'm getting at: Historical references of Jesus of Nazareth are not JUST in the Bible and they are not made ONLY by Christians. The overwhelming unbiased evidence points to the fact that Jesus was a dude who live in the first century A.D and that He walked, talked, ate, and crapped. He might have been right, wrong, or crazy...but He existed.

That would all be fine, except I think I've just shown that the interpretation you've been fed about the evidence clearly IS biased, and wouldn't begin to prove that Jesus had any special powers even if it WASN'T biased.

Hey, thanks for writing me back, dude!

-Barrett

What, you're not going to even attempt to refute the charge that you might be schizophrenic? I think that issue ought to be of somewhat more pressing concern to you than all this Bible wrangling. Seriously, if you're not right in the head then you shouldn't trust your own interpretation of the evidence for Jesus, and you shouldn't be wasting time talking to me. You should be talking to a psychiatrist. I would LOVE to hear you say that your comments about hearing the 'voice of God' were merely metaphorical, and not literal. But if you can't say that, then I strongly urge you to seek professional psychiatric assistance.

-Jeff Dee

Jeff,

Sorry about the delayed response. I have swine flu. (and, oh, how I wish I was kidding) Again, thank you for thoughtfully and respectfully responding to my arguments. But I feel like you're waiting for me to freak out and say something like, "LOOK, I'm right! You just have to have faith!" But I promise, I'm not. And after reading your responses to my arguments, I would hardly say that you "ripped them to shreds." But here- I'll indulge you a little bit:

1) Schizophrenia- Sorry, I forgot to respond to the schizophrenia quote. Sure, I might be a schizophrenic. I'm willing to admit that. But you are also claiming that the other billions of people throughout the world who claim to hear from their god are also schizophrenics and that the only people who are not suffering from schizophrenia are atheists. And aside from the fact that that's a bit condescending, it's not likely. Yes, I could be hearing voices. This isn't something I've never thought of. But have you studied schizophrenia? Schizophrenics are not logical. Often times, they can't finish their sentences, are paranoid, aggressive, and have hallucinations. So, if hearing God's voice is my only symptom, a psychiatrist would say this is not sufficient to diagnose me. Also, no one who has ever had personal contact with me has ever suspected schizophrenia and it doesn't run in my family. BUT, I will admit it could be possible although not likely.

And just a side note- You make it sound like Christians are the only ones who have never questioned their beleifs. You said on your show that at least 99% of Christians have never even looked at the evidence critically. But I can also tell you that 99% of atheists have never heard about any of this stuff we're talking about and have never questioned their faith. Because, you have to admit that it's a pretty big leap of faith to claim there is no god, and why would one not question those beliefs? Maybe it's because it's what they WANT to believe, which is what you've accused Christians of.

2) Historical References- Historical references don't have to be made by historians. And I never claimed that all those people were historians. Sure, some were satirists, poets, writers, politicians, and yes some historians. And no, I don't believe Ceasar rose from the dead. The reason is that all other accounts I've heard are contrary. Just because one person said it isn't convincing for me. But the harmony of the various accounts of Jesus (i.e. he existed, he taught certain things, and he died on a cross) lead me to believe it's true.

3) "Widely Accepted"?- What exactly do you mean by "widely accepted"? Because the dates you gave from wikianswers.com are surely not that. In fact, many scholars and archaeologists have placed the writing of the gospels somewhere between these dates:

Matthew- A.D. 70-80

Mark- A.D. 50-65

Luke- A.D. early 60s

John- A.D. 80-100

Paul's Letters- A.D. 50-66

All I'm saying is that there are other estimates. Actually, there are LOTS of estimates that are contrary to wikianswers.

Furthermore, here are when (according to wikipedia and other sources) the authors died:

Matthew- A.D. 90

Mark- A.D. 68

Luke- A.D. 84

John- A.D.100

Paul- A.D. 64

And are you really going argue that life expectancies weren't that high back then so the apostles PROBABLY didn't live that long? That's pure speculation.

And you've basically taken every one of my arguments and said "No, that's biased" or "They must have tampered with history". Also, what does it prove that the term "Christian" wasn't used in the first century?

4) Disciples of the Disciples- Saint Quadratus of Athens didn't die until A.D.129, so chances are he was born before A.D. 100. Barnabas didn't die until A.D. 61. When you say that Justin the Martyr was the earliest, I don't know where you got this information. Therefore, what some of these people say surely lends weight to the existence of a historical Jesus.

-Barrett Raven

P.S. I watch your guys' show a lot and am quite embarrassed by some of the rediculous Christians that call in and say stuff like "How about I come down there and kick your ass!" That's so freaking stupid. I sincerely hope I do not come off like some of them. I really really appreciate you writing me back and taking the time to do this.




He never wrote me back after this. There are a lot of other things I wanted to say and maybe in time I'll get to say them. But I hope this makes sense and is somewhat coherent. Enjoy...

-Barrett

Coffee Shop Etiquette

So, I recently started working again at Dominican Joe (in Austin) and, after my first couple of shifts, got inspired to revive my dormant blog. You see, at first I was tempted to just start ranting and vent about how incredibly rude people can be. I seriously wish sometimes that I could set up a hidden camera in our shop and show these clips on the web. The fact that you can get yelled at and made to feel like a complete degenerated moron for making someone a dry-sugar free vanilla-skim-extra hot-cappuccino instead of a dry-sugar free FRENCH vanilla-skim-extra hot-cappuccino should be quite humorous to general public. And aside from the obvious belligerent douche bag customers, there are simple things that people do to make baristas (and any other food service workers) feel really dehumanized.

But the other day it hit me: I don't think most of these people realize what they're doing! I honestly think the vast majority of these customers realize they're being insulting. Therefore, I figured I should take this opportunity to educate the public on this issue. What I'm going to do is list (and elaborate on) some of the subtle examples of rude customer behavior. After all, how will they know unless someone tells them? And I begin with a disclaimer....

DISCLAIMER- Before I begin, I want to make it known that, yes, I am a Christ-following believer and I know that I am called to live out the gospel. This means, among other things, that I am to be a servant at all times and to love others even when they don't treat me with respect. But I've got news for all you Christians out there- NOT ALL COFFEE SHOP EMPLOYEES (aka-"baristas") ARE CHRISTIANS! So, if you want to love others better, take my advice and implement these things. Some of the meanest people I've encountered were people from my own church where we are told to be one body.

And I know that some of you might read this and think, "Oh crap! I do all of these things on a daily basis. I bet the barista down the street thinks I'm a total A-hole!" Chances are- you're right. But fear not. We in this industry tend to be quite resilient. Just stop doing these things and you can win us back over in an instant.

Welp, here we go......

1) Don't talk on your cellphone at the register.
This is something that doesn't bother me that much, but to most food/drink servers it does. Actually, to a lot of baristas this is the nail in the proverbial coffin. Just don't do it. It might seem completely innocent to you, but in reality you might as well be saying, "Yeah, just give me my coffee. You're not important enough for me to talk to. I don't have time for you. Take my money- give me my coffee." If that's your attitude, why don't you just go across the street to Chevron and get caffeinated. Their coffee's way cheaper anyway.
There are a few ways to remedy this. End your phone call before you enter the coffee shop. Tell your friend you'll call them back. Take a seat and finish your phone call before you walk up to the register. This is an easy way to begin and maintain a relationship with your barista. Give them your undivided attention and watch the quality of your drinks improve drastically. And if you want to go above and beyond, stay off of your phone until you have received your drink. This speaks volumes about your respect and admiration for the craft of preparing specialty coffee drinks. Obviously, there are extenuating circumstances. But as a general rule, save the call for later.

2) Tell the cashier how you are doing.
If the cashier asks how you are doing don't answer "small chai." or whatever it is you want to drink. This happens to me about thirty percent of the time. When the person across the counter asks how you are doing, answer them. You don't have to give your life story. Just say "I'm alright" or "Oh, I'm doing well. How could I not be with this awesome weather, right?" I won't go into how condescending this behavior is- just don't do it. Treat your barista like a human being and answer their questions.

3) Don't toss your wadded up dollar bills on the counter.
Take the time to unwad your bills and stack them nicely before handing them to the cashier. It's astounding how many people make a regular practice of this. One barista I know said it makes her feel like a whore when people throw balls of crumpled up money at her, sometimes without even looking her in the face. To be honest, this is one thing that burns my soul. Like I said- it's the small things.

4) Don't tip under $.10 just to round the total to $4.00 on your credit card.
Seriously, that's just insulting. Keep your pennies. OK, I swore to myself I wouldn't write about tipping in general. But, eh, what the heck.
I've talked to a surprising amount of people lately who don't think it's necessary to tip at coffee shops. The problem is that most of these people have never worked at a coffee shop or restaurant (or at all!). If you're a full-time student and your daddy can afford to buy you a four dollar mocha every night, chances are he can also afford to fork over one extra dollar. Stop using the excuse "I'm a poor college student." No, you're not. (most) Coffee shop workers work pretty hard to provide you with a safe environment where you can come and study or have business meetings or chat with your longtime friend. We also provide an ill-appreciated skill that you couldn't reproduce without training. If you don't already, show your baristas your thankfulness and quit being stingy.
side note: It's commonly known among food service workers that Christians are the worst tippers.
If this concept is impossible for you to grasp, GO TO 7/11 FOR YOUR COFFEE AND GO STUDY AT HOME!!!!!!

5) Clean up after yourself.
When you are done consuming your beverage, clean your table. And by that I mean throw your trash in the trash can and put your dishes in the bus tub. If needed, we can wipe your table off. But in many coffee shops like Dominican Joe, the pace of business is such that someone will want your table as soon as you leave and the two baristas are too busy helping customers to come clean up your mess. Again, this is a really easy way to show some love to your local coffee shop.

6) Don't get iced espresso and then fill it to the brim with milk to make your own iced latte.
Essentially, this is stealing. Milk and cream are set out on the condiment bar for people who want a splash of creamy goodness in their cup of coffee. If you want more than an ounce of cream, let your barista know and they will charge you accordingly.
For example, I'm sitting at a coffee shop right now and I asked the owner about their pricing. An iced espresso is $2.00 and an iced latte is $3.50. The cream at the condiment bar is just that- a condiment. It's not free milk. You wouldn't take all the sugar home because you're baking a cake that night, would you? And you wouldn't take an entire package of napkins because you ran out of toilet paper at home, would you? No way! So, be honest and pay for what you're getting. Especially at Dominican Joe where we support a non-profit- it's crazy how many people try to do this.
But like a lot of these things, most of the customers who do this don't realize it's wrong. But it is.


THE END!!!!!!!


I know a lot of this blog post must seem pretty harsh and judgmental. While I do admit that some of it reflects my own personal sentiments, I encourage you to keep in mind that I am speaking (or typing) on behalf of my brothers and sisters in the coffee game. Some people are just mean and unwilling to change. It's inevitable. And it's a pity those people continue to frequent establishments. There are probably some that I forgot to mention. But these are some really easy ways you can brighten up the day of your barista and show them that you really care. Don't waste the opportunity.

until next time...

-Barrett

My Views On Illegal Immigration

SO, this is more of a reaction and response to a conversation I was unfortunate enough to overhear while studying at one of my favorite coffee shops in town. I wanted to write something right away, but I decided to give myself a week or so to cool down and try, possibly in vain, to avoid sounding bitter and judgmental. We'll see what happens. I should note that I really do not like using the "F" word, so I'll substitute it with an old favorite- "effing". haha

Well, I was just sitting there reading when, out of nowhere, the girl sitting next to me on the couch turns to her friend and says something to the affect of, "You know what I hate?...effing illegals. They need to go the eff back to their effing country! I'm sick of paying for their illegal asses. All they're doing is taking advantage of us. And guess what?- I don't want to learn effing Spanish! If they're going to live here, they need to speak my effing language! I shouldn't be forced to have to learn Spanish. I want to speak English. It's my effing right!" She said several other hateful things, but I'm sure you get the gist.

HMMMMMMMMMM.............

First off, I feel the need to state that I do not respect that opinion. I mean, I truly feel that it is objectively wrong. And I somewhat feel that, if you too are a follower of Christ and His teachings, you should also disagree deep in your heart with this mentality. That being said, it makes me really sad that someone could be labeled "illegal" just because they want a better life for their family. These are people just like us- the only difference being that we just happened to be lucky enough to have been born in America. How can we say we have a right to ANY of this? No, we have been given a blessing. And the only reason the Lord gives us blessings is so that we can shower them onto others. And when you really think about it, we are so far beyond unworthy of those blessings to begin with.
"For Christ also died for sins once for all, the just for the unjust, so that He might bring us to God, having been put to death in the flesh, but made alive in the spirit."-1Peter 3:18
So, maybe there are some who come to our country to take advantage of us and our system...so what?! Let them come take advantage of us!!! Let them come and rip our blessings away from us and let us point them to the freaking cross! What a great opportunity we have!

I feel like we, as Americans, hold so dear to our hearts our "standard of living". I've seen it all over the news, in all of my economics classes, and deeply ingrained in the attitude of the presidential debates. We want a government that will not tax us. We want, at any cost, a system that will let us hoard our blessings and leave us be.
I'm sick of it.
I haven't seen a whole lot of this world yet, but I've seen a little. And the overwhelming evidence points to the fact that our quality of life is not the standard. It's a joke. What we need in this world is a massive amount of people who are willing to lower their "standard of living" significantly for the sake of others to raise theirs just a little bit. And we, as Americans, for the first time ever, have the resources and the means to step up to the plate and begin to heal this world in the name of Jesus Christ! How could we not jump on that opportunity?! I don't think that would go over well at the debates.

One example of this is universal health care. When you ask most people about it, they typically respond with "No, it would never work." When I ask "why?", they'll answer with something like "Doctors wouldn't be paid well and there would be a huge decline in the quality of hospitals." Well, it seems to me that's what we need. If everyone had the same access to health care, there would be a crapload of doctors going to med school without expectation of a huge salary.

Well dang, I'm getting off topic. I'm not saying that, to be a Christian, you need to believe in universal health care or raising taxes. But I am crying out and begging that we (myself particularly included) would stop being self-centered, blessed, selfish, ignorant, blind, gluttonous Americans. So, in light of illegal immigration, there is a reason that people are forsaking and abandoning their lives in search of opportunity here. How could we build a wall to keep them out?! No no no no no no NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE STOP!!!!!! We should be welcoming them with open arms. We should be working overtime trying to get them into the right job or get their kids into the right schools with a solid education. You never know- the whole world might follow our example.

That would be effing awesome.

-Barrett

Microeconomic Theory

So,

I don't know why I've been thinking about this a lot lately; but I've noticed that the hardest thing for me to do is to do something good and know that no one will ever see or know. I mean, sometimes I fool myself into thinking I'm being humble, but I'm only doing what I'm doing for the silent approval of others. I'm one of those people who falls into the "everyday idolatry" that most people don't really care about or notice. I recently heard a story of an Indian woman who came to America and stayed with a Christian family. She could only stomach being here for about a week and then had to leave claiming she couldn't handle our "idolatry."

It's so true. Everyday I worship my stomach by giving it whatever it wants and I have almost no constraints as there are sanctuaries of food at literally every single corner. I worship my ears by putting complete trash in them because, deep down, I am not satisfied with the soft, constant whispers of the Spirit. I could go on and on. But more than than anything, I long for the approval of other people. Like I said, sometimes it just happens to be masked by me doing spiritual things.

I mean it says somewhere in the Bible that when you give to the needy that your left hand should not know what your right hand is doing. That's freaking insane! Giving to the less fortunate should be so second-nature to us that it's just like breathing. That's true altruism! In economics, we learn that there is no such thing as atruism; only the illusion of it. They teach us that EVERYTHING we do is done out of self-interest. But I disagree.

We shouldn't feel like we are such good people or think we will be praised by others. After all, we shouldn't even know we're doing it ourselves. Like always, I'm saying this mostly to myself.

I can look back on my life over the past year and think of a few times, maybe alone in my car or under by blanket at four in the morning, where I was satisfied by the Holy Spirit rocking my face off. I can't even explain it really. I think it was John Piper that said "He is most glorified when we are most satisfied" and that sounds awesome. I mean, I can't really claim to know the full nature of God. For all I know, God could be most glorified when we walk on one leg for 3 hours. Who knows? But in all my earthly wisdom, Piper's explanation sound legitimate. And all I can say is that in those few moments, nothing has EVER EVER EVER satisfied me in the same way.

Well, Carey's yelling at me now. We have to go to work.

I have so much more to say, but I hope this was encouraging a little bit. If not, I'll be at Dominican Joe until midnight. I'll make you a sensational caffeinated beverage.

Until then.....

-Barrett

Revelations

BOOYAH!!!

Well, here we go...

Blogging has never really been a pastime of mine, but lately so many crazy things have been going on all up in my head and I just couldn't resist the temptation to unleash it on the interweb. I'm not even sure anyone will ever see this, but I think I'll get some sort of cathartic relief if nothing else.

So, what follows are just some goings on, rants, musings, prayers, and personal psalms. I often find myself talking about religion, politics, movies, books, life, God, trials, tribulations, travels, music, and the like. But I should let it be known that I do NOT consider myself an expert theologian, political scientist, poet, musician, or even a halfway decent writer. So, if you don't agree with my theology or think I write like a fifth grader just go read John Piper.

I'm just a dude running this race and stumbling the whole way through. But it's an adventure and as of late it's been a whole lot of fun. As I really study and digest some of the scriptures, not only is it filling me up more than I could ever imagine, it's also turning my world upside-down. (more on that at a later time)

My guess is that anyone who happens to come across this here corner of the world wide web is a dear friend and more or less knows of my journeys that have brought me to where I am at this point. So, I'll save the whole background story.


But basically, I recently decided that I wanted to know God more, which is a common desire among...well...humans. But I had never wanted it so bad. I didn't want it because I wanted to impress my parents. I didn't want to be better at shooting people down with theology. I didn't want to impress a girl. I wasn't afraid of dying and living a pointless existence. The only way I can explain it is that I came to the realization that I had a soul and there's something crazy about that. I knew deep down in my heart that I had been created. And I wanted to know the Creator. And somewhere along the way I had a bunch of people telling me that there was a particular formula, political ideology, and general ambition that went along with knowing that Creator. But I didn't buy it. I was brought up with certain values and ways of evaluating life and then I was taught how to fit the Bible and God into that system.

But, like I said, that can't be right. I wanted to know the truth myself. I wanted to stumble and search and find truth through a one of one relationship/communication with our Creator Jesus Christ. I wanted to start from scratch. You know, throw everything I had ever been taught out the window and search the Word and come to conclusions on how to live my life. So, I started reading Matthew and Acts as if I had never heard of this "Jesus" character. What did he say? How would he vote? How would He treat homosexuals? How would He treat homeless people? How would He treat me? What would He think about the environment, welfare, healthcare, the death penalty, or illegal immigrants? How would He love? Perfectly? I think so. What about war? I wanted to hear, on my own, what JESUS said.

That's when stuff started getting crazy.

First thing I read.....

Matthew 5:44
"Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you..."

I've been thinking about that constantly for about 3 weeks now. I don't think I'll ever be the same.


Hasta...

Johnny Cash owns music. The end.